no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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Go christen that room with your naked body.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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