Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
