i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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