It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
