I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
