I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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