Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Alive.
So much puke
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize