You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
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Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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