New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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