Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize