Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
