Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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