I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
