Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
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She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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