he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize