it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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