ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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