he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
