What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize