We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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