doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
