I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
