if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
