True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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