But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
