Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
