I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
