my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
