ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
