At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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