Is it normal to miss your booty call?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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