Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Congratulations! We have a period
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
