So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize