Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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