I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dear god my vagina.
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