how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize