PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
