I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
