Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
