after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
