69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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