why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
