i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
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I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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