I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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