I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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