if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
