sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
