How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
