she was so not down for the gang bang
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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