if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
