i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
