he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
