You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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