Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
