sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
